Oh what a loverly tea party!

"Holy bad games blogger and the revenge of not writing a fucking thing batman" Robin said
"Shut the fuck up robin no one even likes you" Shouted batman.

Right i didnt blog for a couple of weeks ive been busy and needed some games to play to talk about and get asked to leave a GAME store. Anyway on to the games this last couple of weeks ive played Uncharted 2 (Uc2), Bayonetta (Ass) and ive begun Darksiders (Ds) and Dragon age (Da) ive added shorter names for each game so i dont have to keep typing them if anyones unsure why ive put ass for ass play it and find out.

Uc2 is fantastic to quote Frank ive covered wars you know West everything about the game is class set peice after set peice and some sexual inuendo whats not to love well nothing infact except for the couple of bastard annoying parts. The game is one part Tomb Raider and three parts Gears of War basically the game follows a simple rountine of shoot jump shoot puzzle and drake the main character making a comment about the rear end of one of the female companions who follow him around anywhere he goes. If the game was a movie it would be a summer blockbuster with the set peices buildings collapsing with you in them and train rides though the mountains with helicopters for company. However the annoying parts when they come mad me want to tear my hair out the last boss springs to mind it makes no sence to me that a game developer would make something that annoying and put it in there fine game. I did enjoy it and showed my what the ps3 is capable of more games like this will really go some way to making the ps3 seem like a good gaming console and not just a blu ray player that you can download ps1 games to.

Ass is all about the ass frankly every shot is of bayonetta's (fuck) ass this is somewhat distracting i would think if your 15 years old and have never been laid sadly i have been laid so i just spent time wondering why women i know dont look like bayonetta (fuck). The game plays great like devil may cry without a blond emo guy moaning all the time but a little more fast paced and is all about you abilty to dodge and counter with a huge amout of combos some that reduce the woman in questions clothes to disapear. The story is standard of this type of game cant remember your past slay angels and make sexual comments ride a missle like its a hige spunking cock. The game is punishing to the extreme make a mistake and expect to end up dead fast although stylishly. While i enjoyed the game i spent most of my time wondering is this it all you do is walk kill walk some more boss fight and the mini game I.E riding that cock i mean missle sadly the mini game parts are shit and really ruined the game for me dont fit well into the game and are to hard for there own good none in the sequal please. Its really good when its good which makes the bad parts seem even worse but its well worth playing.

DA is epic ive spend 14 hours on it so far and have barely started ive done loads of quest killed loads of monster but im yet to get the lesbian rogue into my bed i will tho and you will hear about it dont worry. The game plays like kotor but in the middle ages you make a character choose a class and get adventuring, moral choices are the in thing atm (even army of two is doing it BANDWAGON) are you good bad or a mix of both, but they have tried something different here making you choices affect both the quests and your team mates who have there own agendas and morals burn the church and gain the evil and hard as fuck warriors approval but lose the soft as shit pansy mans approval wait that wasnt a hard choice but you get the idea. You can lose yourself in a game like this and im sure many will bioware are masters of this type of rpg and but be warned anyone who signs up for this quest it will eat up your life.

DS is being described as Legand of Zelda with better combat but to me it feels more like Legacy of Kain the soul reaver games in particular and i have to say i love it, having just started the game theres not loads i can say other than at the moment im really enjoying it the character model of War is ace big and hard as fuck looking with enough detail to make you simply walk around and pan the camera 360 degrees round him just admiring the developers work. Ill write more next time when ive got more to say but right now im expecting big things from this although the combats not upto Bayonetta its a lot simpler and easy to get into.

Thats it for now thanks for reading dont wank to hard to bayonetta it makes it harder to play the game see you guys later.

Sackboy rules ok!